Sunday, July 12, 2009

Cows and Politics

I've been doing a lot of decluttering in my house lately. This process mostly involves slogging through a good deal of junk, but there is the occasional glad discovery. I found the following tucked in with some old college papers of mine. It is not my creation and I have no idea to whom the credit belongs, but I thought it worth sharing.

The Intelligent Human's Guide to Cows and Politics

Socialism - You have two cows. Give one to your neighbor.

Communism - You have two cows. Give them both to the government. Government gives you milk.

Fascism - You have two cows. Give milk to government. Government sells it.

Nazism - Government shoots you and takes cows.

New Dealism - Government shoots one cow, milks the other, and pours milk down the sink.

Capitalism - Slaughter cows. Compete with McDonald's.

Anarchism - Keep cows. Shoot government. Steal another cow.

Conservatism - Freeze milk. Nuke cows.

Liberalism - Give milk back to cows. Let them escape.