The Intelligent Human's Guide to Cows and Politics
Socialism - You have two cows. Give one to your neighbor.
Communism - You have two cows. Give them both to the government. Government gives you milk.
Fascism - You have two cows. Give milk to government. Government sells it.
Nazism - Government shoots you and takes cows.
New Dealism - Government shoots one cow, milks the other, and pours milk down the sink.
Capitalism - Slaughter cows. Compete with McDonald's.
Anarchism - Keep cows. Shoot government. Steal another cow.
Conservatism - Freeze milk. Nuke cows.
Liberalism - Give milk back to cows. Let them escape.