Turkey Trot

Carter leading the cheering section

Austin has been running for P.E. this year. He's always loved to run, but getting him to do it in a straight line and with a purpose has been a little challenging. He's still inclined to give in to the sensory delight of the wind rushing by him, but he's gotten better at putting those long legs to good use. Today was his first venture into racing. He was very nervous, which, of course, manifested itself in a little less control of his breathing and stride. In the end, though, he did quite well for his first time. Our good friend Donna, an experienced runner, partnered with Austin to help show him the ropes. Thanks goodness for her, because none of us can run to save our lives. 

 Waiting for the race to start

Coming to the finish line

Victorious!

Austin didn't place in his age group this time around, but he showed plenty of great potential. We're betting he does great in the spring races. He did, however, win the drawing for a free turkey--the perfect prize for a boy driven by his stomach.

Giving Thanks

In honor of Thanksgiving next week, I thought I would share some of the things I am most thankful for in my life. From the sublime to the ridiculous, it's a diverse list, so I'll tackle it in sections. Today I present five challenges for which I am (at least in part) grateful.

1. Autism tops this list. When my oldest was diagnosed almost 14 years ago, I crumbled into a million dysfunctional pieces. I had to say goodbye to nearly all the plans I had laid for my adult life. I had to mourn the loss of the life I dreamed my child would have. But the person that arose from that rubble is living a happier life today than she ever thought possible. I was forced to rebuild and reshape everything and while I hate autism dearly, I am sincerely thankful for the new path I was compelled to find for myself. The rebuilding process was not pretty, however, which brings me to . . .

2. The fallout from the first post-diagnosis year. I went from denial to self-destruct mode, withdrawing from my family and careening around like an adolescent with no boundaries or responsibilities. I have been to the brink of wrecking my life and I still remember the view from the precipice. What I learned from that experience was the single most powerful and sacred lesson of my life. Not only did I return to God and family, I found myself in a very fundamental way.

3. Not having a daughter was a crushing blow that now seems laughable to me. The bitterness I felt when I discovered our last child would be a third son instead of the wished for girl is, well, embarrassing. I can't even remember why I wished for such a thing. I am grateful for the lesson of humility that came from this spell of childishness and call upon it regularly to remind myself to not question why I have received some blessings and not others.

4. While I'm on the topic of that third cherubic now 2-year-old, I have to give thanks for the many, many sleepless nights and napless days he has put me through. For all the times I had to endure other moms gushing over babies who napped for 3 hours and slept for 12 every night; for all the nights I woke up for the 5th time; for all the times I got him settled in his crib only to have him wake 10 minutes later, I have struggled, but never despaired. Even at 3 am I have given thanks for this child who makes my life difficult all while batting those big blue eyes at me. There are so many mothers in the world in real pain--mothers whose children are severely impaired, mothers whose children are sick or suffering, mothers whose children have died. I give thanks to those mothers for sharing that perspective with me.

5. Last, but not least, I must express my gratitude for the unending piles of laundry, dirty dishes, and clutter that I battle on a daily basis. Perhaps I will one day conquer them, but for now they are constant reminders of a home full of life and a life of plenty.

One More Try

So, I had pretty much decided to give up on the whole blogging venture. I got seriously derailed back in May when I stumbled across the blog of a young woman who lost her 4-month-old baby to a horrible disease. After reading her story and those of others like her, talking about my ordinary little life seemed trite. I just couldn't think there was anything meaningful I could say when there were people out there struggling through such horrific experiences.

However, trite though it may sometimes be, my life is my life. I am struggling through my own issues to be sure and, just as my perspective is altered by reading the accounts of others, perhaps someone may benefit from peeking into my corner of earth. If not, at least it can serve as my little venture in self-indulgence.

Today's lesson: the tyrannosaurus rex was actually a scavenger not a hunter. This is life-altering information. The sub-text to this lesson is that we've decided we would run from one anyway.

No Words

I cannot begin to fathom the sorrow. Please consider supporting this organization. To read one family's account of their experience with this disease, visit Living Our Love Song.

Gone to Seed

There is nothing like growing lovely flowers in your garden. Unless, of course, those flowers are meant to be broccoli. This was my first attempt at growing broccoli and I can't say it has been much of a success. Each plant produced just one floret and while I naively waited for something impressive to happen (like a head of broccoli to appear from nowhere) those single florets opened into these very cute little yellow flowers. Don't worry, though--they did not go to waste. I snipped them off and had a charming Mother's Day centerpiece for my table. My children have decided this is how they like broccoli best.

Worth It

Though I have become, over the years, a zealot when it comes to home schooling, occasionally I have to confess a challenging aspect or two. The challenge of the moment for me is certainly not unique to home schoolers. It is the question of finding self worth.

Ever one of the brainy girls during my public school days, I struggled socially for most of my formative years. My validation came in the form of grades and praise from teachers. I became quite addicted to it and was very competitive--not a trait that helped in the social department, incidentally. This pattern continued into college to some extent, though I did make an effort to curb the competitive side. And so it can be particularly difficult for me to now be in a position of having to determine my own worth from within the confines of my lifestyle. My children certainly aren't heaping me with praise on a daily basis. To be fair, they do sometimes say very nice things, but mainly my efforts are met with complaints, sighs, and often negative attitudes. My husband is extremely supportive and encouraging, and will lavish me with accolades at the slightest hint. Unfortunately, it is too easy for me to dismiss his opinions on the matter. After all, he is contractually obligated to love me, making him not the most objective judge of my performance.

I applied for a job a couple of weeks ago. It was a teaching position with an online school. I don't think I really wanted it, so much as I was giving in to that old craving for external kudos. When I was informed that I lacked the qualifications to even warrant an interview, I started to spiral into a feeling of having no value or merit. I have taken the past week to do a little soul-searching and I have realized that it is simply time to change the tools with which I take my personal measurements. If I want to have that feeling of self worth, than I must value what I do. It's not up to the world to do that for me anymore.

How fitting to be deep in these thoughts during Mother's Day. What a common plight for women to worry over what the world thinks of us, especially when we choose to stay home with our children rather than pursue careers. We so readily buy into the notion that work for pay is the only work of real value. We dwell on what we have "given up" to be full time mothers and forget that motherhood is the ultimate promotion and we deserve to wear the role as proudly as any academic credentials or job title.

Best Homeschooling Week Ever: April 25 - April 29

Spring break! This has been a very renewing week, full of turning my attention to non-school related projects. Of course, as nice as it was to have a break from actual teaching, my inner school geek couldn't fully abandon scholarly pursuits. April is my traditional month for selecting curriculum for the coming year. For one thing, many of the companies I like have big sales going on during this time. I also like to have all my decisions made and materials in hand by the beginning of our summer break so that I can use that time to work on lesson plans and schedules. It all makes me sound so much more organized than I feel. Anyway, I am often asked what curricula I use. For those of you who have wondered, here is the nitty-gritty (at least for next year).

Carter (grade 8/9)
Algebra - Switched-on Schoolhouse
English - The Writer's Jungle by Brave Writer
Paleontology - This is a self-designed course, meaning I choose the materials and design my own lesson plans. This is really fun when you have a child who wants to study something outside of the mainstream, like Austin did this year with ornithology.
The Constitution and US Presidents - The first semester will be using the Constitution course from Switched-on Schoolhouse and the second will be a self-designed study of the presidents using Beyond the Cherry Tree by Anne E. Schraff
Spanish 1 - Tell Me More by Auralog
Typing - Garfield's Typing Pal
PE - Local gymnastics and swimming classes

Austin (grade 11)
Shakespeare - A self-designed course based on Shakespeare in film
Bible as Literature 1 - I admit, I haven't totally nailed this one down yet--I'll update it when I have. We will cover Old Testament this year and New Testament his senior year.
US Geography - Another self-designed course, using materials from the History Channel, National Geographic, and a great company called Geography Matters
Art - Lifepac by Alpha Omega Publications
PE - Cross-country running
French 2 - Rosetta Stone

I'm all giddy! Feel free to ask any questions. I am happy to share lesson plans or more specific info on the materials I'm using for the self-designed courses. Meanwhile, break is ending and it's time to wrap up this year's work. Here's hoping my week off was enough to energize me (and my kids) for the final month.