Bee Gone

 Living in a log house in the woods brings with it a whole host of complications, most of which can be attributed to the fact that the insects, birds, and small gliding rodents, do not see any appreciable differences between said house and any other tree in the forest. During the 16 years we have lived here, we have dealt with infestations of carpenter bees, termites, carpenter ants, and flying squirrels, along with occasional indoor visits from birds, bats, lizards, and snakes. It's a very lively existence we lead, and we've come to develop fairly effective strategies for dealing with our wild interlopers. And when I say effective, I am completely disregarding the two bullet holes I still have in my bedroom ceiling as a result of one of my husband's last ditch attempts to tackle the flying squirrel problem that plagued us for years.

Happily, those flying squirrels are gone, as are the termites and ants. The carpenter bees are another story. As soon as the weather turns warm in the spring, the outside of my house turns into a war zone. Just getting to our front door requires us to run the gauntlet among dive-bombing bees about the size of a large grape. These fuzzy little monsters bore holes into the walls of our house where they lay their eggs. This, in turn, attracts woodpeckers, who turn those half-inch diameter holes (bad enough) into enormous gashes many inches long. Did I mention woodpeckers start feeding at first light--say 5:30 a.m.--and make a sound like someone hammering and most prefer the wall right outside my bedroom?

Anyway, for some reason, our only approach to this insidious problem in years past has been a badminton racket. While there is something satisfying about striking a large, home-wrecking insect with a piece of sports equipment, it has not proven very effective when considering the big picture. So, last year, for the first time, we called an exterminator. In one hour, he was able to eradicate a huge percentage of our bees. This year, they returned in full force, of course, but our trusty bug-man returned today and worked his magic. It is truly amazing to go from swarms of buzzing, swooping bees everywhere you turn, to complete peace and quiet in such a short amount of time. Lovely!